Understanding 'They' as a Singular Pronoun: A Guide to Nonbinary Usage

Introduction: Why Singular “They” Matters

In modern English, the pronoun “they” is no longer used only for plural nouns. It is also widely accepted as a singular pronoun. This use is especially important when referring to a person who identifies as nonbinary (someone who does not identify strictly as male or female). It is also commonly used when a person’s gender is unknown or irrelevant.

Understanding singular “they” is essential for clear communication, respectful language, and modern English fluency. Major style guides such as the APA, MLA, and Chicago Manual of Style recognize and accept singular “they.” For English learners, learning this usage helps you communicate naturally and respectfully in academic, professional, and social settings.

What Is Singular “They”?

Singular “they” is the use of the pronouns they, them, their, theirs, and themselves to refer to one person.

It has two main uses:

  • When a person’s gender is unknown or not specified
  • When a person identifies as nonbinary and chooses “they” as their pronoun

1. When Gender Is Unknown or General

English speakers have used singular “they” for hundreds of years in situations where gender is unknown.

Someone left their umbrella in the classroom.

If a student has a question, they should raise their hand.

In these examples, we do not know whether the person is male or female. Using “they” avoids awkward phrases like “he or she.”

2. When Referring to a Nonbinary Person

Some people identify as nonbinary and prefer the pronoun “they.” In this case, “they” refers clearly and specifically to one person.

Jordan said they will join us later.

Alex submitted their project yesterday.

Here, “they” refers to one known individual. It is not plural.

Grammar Rules for Singular “They”

Singular “they” follows the same grammar rules as plural “they.” The verb form stays plural.

They are my best friend. ✅

They is my best friend. ❌

Even when referring to one person, always use:

  • they are
  • they have
  • they were

Reflexive Form: “Themselves” or “Themself”?

Traditionally, “themselves” is used:

Taylor prepared themselves for the presentation.

However, “themself” is increasingly accepted when referring to one person:

Taylor prepared themself for the presentation.

Both forms may appear, but “themselves” is still more common in formal writing.

Comparison: Singular “They” vs. Traditional Gendered Pronouns

Situation Traditional Form Modern Preferred Form
Unknown gender Each student must bring his or her book. Each student must bring their book.
General statement If anyone calls, tell him I’m busy. If anyone calls, tell them I’m busy.
Nonbinary individual Alex said he will come. Alex said they will come.

The modern forms are shorter, more natural, and more inclusive.

Common Mistakes to Avoid

1. Using Singular Verbs

Incorrect: They is responsible for the report.

Correct: They are responsible for the report.

2. Confusing Singular and Plural Meaning

Sometimes context is important. If necessary, clarify:

Jamie said they are bringing a friend. (One person named Jamie)

If confusion is possible, you can rewrite the sentence:

Jamie said that they, Jamie, will arrive at 6 PM.

3. Avoiding “They” Unnecessarily

Some learners try to avoid singular “they,” but doing so can make sentences sound unnatural:

Awkward: Every employee must submit his or her timesheet.

Natural: Every employee must submit their timesheet.

Why Singular “They” Is Important

1. It Promotes Respect

Using a person’s correct pronouns shows respect for their identity. In professional and academic settings, this is especially important.

2. It Is Historically Established

Singular “they” is not new. Writers such as Shakespeare and Jane Austen used it centuries ago.

“There’s not a man I meet but doth salute me / As if I were their well-acquainted friend.” — Shakespeare

3. It Is Officially Recognized

Dictionaries such as Merriam-Webster and the Oxford English Dictionary include singular “they.” It is widely accepted in modern English grammar.

Practical Examples in Everyday Contexts

  • At work: The new manager introduced themselves at the meeting.
  • At school: If a student forgets their ID, they must visit the office.
  • In conversation: I met someone interesting today. They’re an artist.
  • Email writing: Please let the applicant know that they have been selected.
  • Social situations: Sam said they don’t eat dairy products.

These examples show how natural singular “they” sounds in modern English.

Quick Summary: Key Takeaways

  • Singular “they” refers to one person.
  • It is used when gender is unknown or when a person identifies as nonbinary.
  • Always use plural verb forms (they are, they have).
  • It is accepted by major style guides and dictionaries.
  • Using correct pronouns shows respect and professionalism.

Conclusion

Singular “they” is an important and fully accepted part of modern English. It helps speakers avoid awkward language, communicate clearly, and show respect for all individuals. For ESL learners, mastering singular “they” improves both grammar accuracy and cultural understanding. As English continues to evolve, using singular “they” correctly will help you sound natural, confident, and inclusive in any situation.